Back To Home Page To Archives - Spring of Life - H. Roger Bothwell Not My Finest Moment Not long ago I became extremely frustrated with a colleague who I thought was being extremely narrow minded and reaching way beyond his authority. When I confronted him I shocked myself by saying something to him about him. It was not something I had premeditated. It just popped out of my mouth. It was demeaning and hurtful. Immediately I asked his forgiveness but it was too late it was out. Words out of the mouth cannot be put back. He has not forgiven me for I notice he avoids me. I followed Jesus counsel in Matthew 5, "if a brother has something against you go to him." But he will not see me. The most difficult part of this is forgiving myself for my indiscretion. I have long since forgiven him for the initial trigger. I have discovered the more difficult person to forgive is me. Why did I say what I did? Where did it come from? Obviously deep within me are seeds of things not so nice and if something as trivial as what he did produced such in me, what horrors lurk there waiting to respond to a real hurt? Would I physically harm someone who harmed someone I love? Would I, could I kill someone? I want to say, "Of course not." But I am not so sure? Could it be that any of us are capable of anything if the right psychological button is pushed? I have come to believe that is so. Like Paul I cry out, "Who will rescue me from me?" And Jesus responses, "My grace is sufficient even for you." I'm Roger Bothwell and my address is roger.bothwell@verizon.net or 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453. Thank you for your support of our faith ministry. Past devotionals can be accessed at Archives